Wednesday, November 3, 2010

No, a uterus is not a public viewing gallery

Crazy Babycenter post of the day:

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a24955845/significant_others_and_ultrasounds?cpg=1&csi=2236438851&pd=-1

It drives me a bit bonkers, as a mother and a family lawyer, to hear this discussed in terms of RIGHTS.

An ultrasound is a medical procedure, people.
It's not spectator sport. It's not a form of prenatal visitation.

The answer to the question "who should be there?" is simple. Whoever the mother wants. Period.

For some of mine, my husband was by my side, and I was grateful for his supportive presence. I can't imagine NOT having him there when our first miscarriage was diagnosed, or when we got confirmation after a scare that the second pregnancy was indeed viable and healthy. These were deeply emotional times for us. He didn't get there by demanding "rights". He got there by being my totally supportive rock, and showing that the well-being of the baby and I was his absolute top priority.

For others (and I had to have quite a few), he wasn't there. While I preferred to have him around, I realized that medical procedures aren't about having a fetus perform for an audience. It was about getting medical care, and that couldn't always wait for my husband to be available. It was a medical and scheduling issue, not a larger statement on future attachment to a child.

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